How did i get myself into this? And how do i make it better?
Heal my heart... heal my powdered heart....

something seems to be wrong...
that voice and tone... i think i vaguely heard it before...
the ignorance and brutality in that voice...
is finally making me see the real picture...
what do you take me for?

that conversation keeps replaying in my head....
like a fucking broken record that won't go away...
i hate myself..
i hate you for making me hate myself...
i hate you for making me feel the pain...
i hate you for making my eyes burn and well up in tears.

i hate to cry.. and you made me cry.

novelty.. I hate that word.

Everything about you tugs at my heartstrings...

You say..“she loves you".. But wait..

"She don’t love you like I love you.”

Familiar, I say the same now. Today. Tomorrow.

Every single day ever since.

Skips a beat, every beat, and it’s all for you.
I’m your fool.

What's novelty they say?

It's new and unique, fresh and exciting.

Pursuing novelty in life, is that an innate characteristic in humans?

They say, everyone cheats, it's human nature.

So why do they cheat?

NOVELTY.

For a long time, i believed that temptations and pursuits of novelty can be curbed.

Because, it's always about choices.

Examples around me, have proven my belief wrong.

And i'm losing that faith.

The faith i have in someone, i can trust with my life, who will never cheat.

But i guess, there isn't such a person in the world.

Or maybe it lies in his personality.

I cannot comprehend.

A man who's cheated once, can cheat again.

Only because, novelty is something that never goes away.

It'll always be there.

So no matter how hard you fight it, and how much you'd wanna keep him...

If it's in him...and he makes the wrong choice.. it'll happen again.

And everytime it happens, it feels like someone put a hand to your heart

and gave it a good, hard squeeze.

So maybe.. our mentalities just have to change.

Otherwise hearts don't shatter to pieces you can pick up anymore..

It just turns to powder everytime you get hurt..

And it gets smaller.... and smaller...

a wise man once said you can have anything in life,
if you will sacrifice everything else for it.

what he meant is, nothing comes without a price, so before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose.

too often, going after what feels good means letting go of
what you know is right
And letting someone in means abandoning the walls
you've spent a lifetime building.

of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy, to pick a side or to measure the potential loss.

when that happens, when the battle chooses us and
not the other way around.

that's when the sacrifices can turn out to be more than we can bear...