I had to clean out my desk and the office space surrounding me today..
Cos we'll be having a farewell party tommorrow for someone in the office
and its gonna be HUGE.. So the 'clear-out-your-desk' memo was out.

I thought I was done with clearing you out of my life,but boy was I wrong.
Amidst all the inhaling of dusts and filthy newspapers and magazines,
I found a notebook I used in '08.

Flipped it through and found many firsts.
First movie marathon..
First trip..
First time I wrote a million recipes that I only succeeded in baking one edible.

Then I saw the huge-ass paperbag that I used to contain a box just as huge,
packed with lil" neon sticks, panadol, small lil" post-its filled with quirky notes,
herbal tea, pictures.. all that and then some...
The lil" medic box for you.
How I scrambled around till wee hours of the morning to put together,
and lugged to work to have the courier surprise you at your place.
All for that tiny smile on your face.

And all I got from you was.. ' I think you have too much time on your hands..'

Sigh.. A lil' burst of warmth and happiness when my eyes caught sight of these lil' moments,
and then in a split second. My eyes started to burn.

You.
I'm amazed at myself for what I did and what I'll do..for you.

Amusing, amazing and exhilarating..
Just for you and only you... I'll do these things..
In your eyes, these stupid lil' things...
Always will be...
My first and my last...

You've probably forgotten that I've ever existed but here I am, thinking about you.

Turning 25 without you, breaks my heart...
Amidst all that misery, that smile on your face brings a smile to mine.
As long as you're happy, anything goes....

Happy birthday me. Happy happy birthday. May I be happy. Soon.