i can't seem to handle festivity blues.

i can't seem to figure why at every moment, i wanna cry my heart out.

as the clock struck 12, people were screaming, popping party poppers, laughing, hugging, practically exhilarated.

at that moment, i don't know why, but i wanted to disappear.

i wanted to hide under my covers at home.

i was at zouk.

amidst the huge throngs of people dancing to Ferry Corsten's set for the night,

i felt alone. i'm certain i wasn't happy. but why?

i have no idea why i'm feeling the way i am right now, and i wish someone would tell me.

i don't understand why i have so many bloody things going through my head.

honestly, i practically run away from it every day.

but it usually comes back to haunt me just as the sun sets.

how annoying.

all these just bottles up and it automatically stores itself in my system,

waiting for one day to be let out,

and i'm sure i'll be suffering from depression when that happens.

it's funny how i know the cause of the problem, the outcome as well,

but i just can't bring myself to solving it.

if i psyche myself to think that everything's not much of a deal if it doesn't kill you

i know i'll be able to get through this.

i know i can.

okay. i wish i can.

okay, i wish i can and i promise i will try.

hmm. doesn't sound too convincing anymore huh..

oh well, no one's gonna solve your problems but yourself.

yes, holding my hand and telling me "everything's gona be okay"

is a sweet gesture that makes me feel a million times better for..

5 full minutes.

but when i get home.

i'm all by myself again.

it helps, no doubt, but it doesn't give me a solution.

anyways..

merry christmas..

i needa crash.

and i needa blow my nose.

Laters

i succumbed to temptation.

its bad..very bad..

i should never walk into any of those places again!!

but it's gorgeous, and it was sucha steal!

i saved $300 ok!

How we all absolutely love pretty things..

My Guccisima in black..

And i got my first christmas pressie for 2007!!!

Courtesy of the gorgeous and amazing David!!

It was such a sweet gesture.

I think festivity isn't that bad afterall.

but i still hate it.. mind you.

Although the name was spelt wrongly.. I still appreciate it!!

He's so sweet.

Lovely.

Now.. who's giving me my coachie bangle? hahaha
talking bout it.. i have to start buying pressies already..

sigh.. i hate. cos it's too nerve-wrecking.

save the sarcasm. i'm really in pain here..

sigh

laters.

why is it that people like festivity?

1. it causes massive traffic jams in town..

2. it feels like zoukout when you shop, minus the beach theme, and the loud music.
(they scamper around as if they're drunk, stepping on my precious shoes oh so often)

3. it annoys me tremendously when i walk on the streets and xmas carols are on repeat mode.

4. i think the list goes on..just that i can't seem to put into words how much it irritates me. i've just boycotted town for a bit.

just so anyone knows, i hate festivity, especially christmas.
its not my kinda happy.
town is a no-no on xmas eve, cos u get foreign workers waiting to pounce at every opportunity to rub themselves on any moving entity.
thank god i don't have friends who give me brilliant ideas on meeting places. otherwise i'll lose em' i'm sure.
its festive blues, you feel all emotional and digusting when the day gets near.
i wanna go away.. more like run away to be exact.
but..
sigh.. forget it..

it's been a whirlwind of activities with work and shit. and deep down, i'm sorta glad, cos it keeps my mind away..

i'm a sick cow, and the weather sucks.

P.S: my cuppies is back and its just the time when we both need someone close.

needa crash.

laters.