It's one of those nights.. Those many nights I've been trying to put myself to sleep..
Scared I'll see you in my dreams, scared to see that image of you walking away from me...
Countless times I've seen that when I'm asleep, that image with your back against me,
With you ignoring me, walking further and further away.. Sometimes with her in your hand..
The pain strikes me every night, the lingering sick feeling sinking at the bottom of my tummy welcomes me when I wake..
How long is this gonna take?
Cos I don't know how long I'll be able to withhold this pain.
I feel like I'm drifting.
When I think of your face.. That face so familiar yet seems so much of a stranger..
I'm starting to have trouble differentiating between the two.
In a split second, it seemed like it didn't happen at all, like it was dream.
But yet it seemed so real.
I'm scaring myself... Am I trying too hard to erase the pain to a point I wanna erase the past?

I went to Zouk last night, and it finally hit me, how long I haven't been the usual me..
When people who worked there, saw me and the first thing they said was 'its time you came out!'
But these people didn't know what went on.. They thought I just disappeared. Or maybe they knew?
I don't know, facebook does wonders these days. Everyone seems to know everything..

I finally had the courage to take you outta my life, bit by bit I erased you away..
The last, was yesterday, when I deleted you off my phonebook.
All this time, I was afraid to type 'Andr', cos your name would appear.
How silly can one get, to be scared of going to their own mobile phonebook?
That silly person, was me.
Now I don't have to be afraid of going to 'A' anymore.
I never thought of deleting cos no matter how many times I hit 'delete', your number's in my head.
I just thought it was stupid, but I'm more dumb than I think.
Oh well, happy new year world!
Make my new year an awesome one!